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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye and knowing that you may never cross one another's path ever again is tough. This is one of the reasons why I build walls around me. To protect myself and others.
Wounds heal but scars remain. I'm still the same person from yesterday. My idea of strong is to not let emotions overrule you. And by that, my only way out is the flight response. Just run away.

P.s. Found this post in draft- this was first written in Feb 2017.
My problem with love & relationship is mainly forcing my way into relationships which I can see no hope in. Not someone with good self control. Adios.

28th birthday

For this year's birthday, I feel so loved. Thank you all for taking the time to celebrate my birthday, and for sending your love & wishes to me. Love them flowers, feel bad when I see them dying though.

On 6th, we had a rather unpleasant time caused by Manmaru's card processor's error. Fought with sis after that as well and cried myself to sleep. Btw, Musa gave me a potato and body shop gift set. Thank you! It made me smile a bit before sleep in the midst of the crying session. At the age of 28, still a cry baby. Things got better the next day. Received surprise bouquets of flowers and they cheered me up instantly. Bestie sent a roses+choc bouquet the following day and got a miband from Tanks. Really appreciate and love these.

EY gang brought me out to dinner on Friday and I got to carry George for the longest time ever before he started crying; I.e. 15 seconds. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

27th birthday

Thank you to all my friends and family who took the time off their busy schedules to spend time with me. After all these years, you people have never left me and still love me enough to do the things that you did. Thank you very much.

I love you all. 

On a side note, this is the first time that I've received return air tickets as a birthday gift. Thank you, N Jie and Pung Pung!

Also, I have joined gym (again) beginning of May. I will definitely show off my abs when she finally decided to show up.


Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Right vs wrong

Don't play with fire, they say.
You will get burnt, they say. 

But damnit. It feels good.


P.s. When it burns, you just have to bear with the pain stemmed from your own stupidity. 

Saturday, March 5, 2016

6 months down the road

Just read the last blog post- and that was almost a year ago. 
Time to update this blog!

The universe reacts to every single step we take along the way. If only I hadn't done the stupid thing I did during the last post, I wouldn't have met this guy whom I claimed to be my boyfriend, after two years of staying single. Reason for staying single; I was not ready for another relationship. I felt like there are lots of self improvements which I will have to commit and achieve before I can feel confident again.

Fast forward to October, I met him. 
Mind you, I'm not planning to tell you how wonderful and awesome I think he was.
What I want to say is that life sometimes changes so fast with twisted plots. I wouldn't have thought that I will fall in love with someone else so soon.. Especially knowing that I have been building barriers around me where nobody would even attempt to break them. And for the wrong guy again. Time and time again. I put my heart out for people who wouldn't appreciate me.

At first I was kinda skeptical that I will ever learn any lessons from failed relationships. Surprisingly, this time I do.
I know what type of partner I am looking for, when to let go and when to trust a person with the duty of guarding your 
Heart. I still have lots to say- but I just fell asleep and woke up to say goodnight to all of you.
Goodnight. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

reminiscing part 34/575

Suddenly missing bro surfing the net/gaming while listening to cantopops at home. How I wish I can turn back time and just stay at home again, feeling protected and have lesser worries.
Miss chillaxing with MH in the study. Miss playing "harimau & kambing" with N jie and neighbours. What a kampung life I had when growing up. Galah panjang, getah tangan, batu seremban..etc. Hanging out at Renu/Teh's place and them at mine. Such good life, and I kinda threw everything away with all the bad choices I made in life, 26 and yet still making mistakes like a kid.

I feel that I am lucky to always be blessed with good people around me who get me out of the mess I got myself into. Only until I got hit really hard in the face will I wake up and steer myself away from further damage.

Such a fool, mt. Life could have been good but you threw it all away. All I can do is console myself; this too shall pass. Just gotta be wiser and always weigh the pros and cons before acting on it. I'm the type of person who will just follow what the heart says, and sometimes, blindly. Lesson learnt.